01 July 2009

Mother's Is Back!

Last year, I reported the sad news that Mother's was stopping production of their signature classic cookie - Frosted Circus Animals.

After trying some other brand versions of the pink-and-white cookies, I was continuously left disappointed.

This year though, I have the good fortune of reporting that they are back! That's right. Just the other day I saw them on the shelf. Life just got a little sweeter.

28 June 2009

A Random Quote #1

"Frustrated with the inadequacies of the world, one tends to shut it out completely."
Kyle Stich, a quote I came up with just yesterday and had to record. This is how I feel and act sometimes.

03 June 2009

Words Are Fun #1

warp core
pork chops

source: Kyle Stich

Words Are Fun – An Introduction

Whether out of my mouth or out of that of another source, I hear fun use of words all the time. I used to write them down as I heard them, but I've never been diligent in recording them. Suddenly, it occurred to me that I should post them here.

Anytime I hear some poetic string of words, I'll do my best to remember and record them. Any post that falls into this category will be titled "Words Are Fun #..."

If any of the phrases spur you on to creative explorations of them, please feel free to run with them. If you post it online somewhere, let me know and I'll add the link to the specific post.

22 May 2009

Chalk Up Another Win for the Power of the Internet

Those hilarious dudes at CollegeHumor.com have been purposely flexing their influence lately.

Making online headlines today is the story of how an "uncool" shirt of three wolves baying at the moon skyrocketed to the top selling item list on Amazon.com. We've all seen tee shirts like this, and many of us might even have one kicking around in our drawers or closets, a forgotten souvenir from a trip to a State Park or wildlife-rich state.

So how did this average shirt knock Crocs and Adidas off their Amazonian pedestal? An outgoing link intentionally placed on CollegeHumor.com

Fans of "The Onion" and "Saturday Night Live" would generally get a kick out of the humor found on this site created by two high school buddies years ago.

This isn't the first time CollegeHumor.com has influenced the rankings of something. Just a few months ago, "The site urged its readers to vote for what it deemed the most boring [new license plate] design available to Nebraska drivers. That gray-and-white plate won."

10 May 2009

In Testament to the Power of the Internet

From the book Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy
"The media dubbed me 'America's Worst Mom.' (Go ahead — Google it.)"
I did Google "America's Worst Mom," and sure enough...

09 May 2009

Bluetooth's New Slogan

Bluetooth released their newest ad campaign today.

Bluetooth: Helping Craziess Look Less Crazy
(Bluetooth: Helping Crazies Look Less Crazy)

The new ad was inspired by the sight of a down-right schizophrenic homeless drifter and a woman in a business suit walking side-by-side. Both looked like they were talking to themselves, but only one had a Bluetooth headset.

08 May 2009

Curves Members Protest Opening of Men-Only Gym

In a scene ripped straight out of the 1960s, dozens of women converged to picket a newly opened men-only gym.

Engines is the newest gym to open in the Atlanta general metro area, and it's already garnered much criticism. Most of those to protest the exclusivity of the men-only gym are members of Curves, the nation's fastest growing work-out facility.

Signs wagging on the protesters' frontline include such messages as "Go back to the Fifties, Ward!" "Chauvinism is dead!" and "Exclusivity is bigotry."

The founder of Engines admits that he's quite confused as to why he's attracted so much negative attention. "I started this gym for pretty much the same reason that Curves was started," says Jim Halleran.

Mr. Halleran has the classic "tall, dark and handsome" features ladies are said to desire. He says that half the time he went to work out at his former co-ed gym, he was approached by women. Halleran, who has been happily married for nearly 20 years, explained that he doesn't wear his wedding ring while working out. "The absence of my wedding band seemed to signal to the ladies in the gym that I was open game. Even after I told them, some would continue to press me and tell me that they didn't mind that I was married."

In the locker room, Halleran would often speak with or overhear conversations that indicated a need for a men's only gym. "I'd hear some guy express his overwhelming sense of insecurity when working out in front of women. Other fellows would comment on how every time they brought out Sports Illustrated, Maxim, or some other male-oriented magazine, some woman would inevitably harass him about his macho reading choices."

Ultimately, Halleran wanted to create a gym where men can be men. This decision has been met with incredible resistance from the female populus in the area surrounding Engines.

One female protester said, "Gentlemen clubs were outlawed in the 80's and 90's for a good reason. Men used their exclusive clubs to oppress women and minorities. Their day has come and gone, and opening Engines is an attempt to return our society to that oppressive culture."

When presented with this statement, Halleran said, "I knew that I would catch heat for opening an all-male gym. I expected it. Although I have no plans on opening membership to women, we do not limit membership based on ethnicity. In fact less than 40% of our members are Anglo in their ancestry."

As one member of Engines was confronted by a protester, he declared his intention to apply to join Curves. The protester stood aghast and replied, "Why? So you can stare at my tits, you pig?"

Curves has yet to file any charges against Engines, but rumor has it that the corporation may sue Halleran on grounds of Trademark infringement. Halleran said he's prepared for a long and spendy trial, and he has contacted the ACLU for help with his case. The ACLU has yet to respond to Halleran's request.