Mother's Is Back!

Last year, I reported the sad news that Mother's was stopping production of their signature classic cookie - Frosted Circus Animals.

After trying some other brand versions of the pink-and-white cookies, I was continuously left disappointed.

This year though, I have the good fortune of reporting that they are back! That's right. Just the other day I saw them on the shelf. Life just got a little sweeter.

Chalk Up Another Win for the Power of the Internet

Those hilarious dudes at CollegeHumor.com have been purposely flexing their influence lately.

Making online headlines today is the story of how an "uncool" shirt of three wolves baying at the moon skyrocketed to the top selling item list on Amazon.com. We've all seen tee shirts like this, and many of us might even have one kicking around in our drawers or closets, a forgotten souvenir from a trip to a State Park or wildlife-rich state.

So how did this average shirt knock Crocs and Adidas off their Amazonian pedestal? An outgoing link intentionally placed on CollegeHumor.com

Fans of "The Onion" and "Saturday Night Live" would generally get a kick out of the humor found on this site created by two high school buddies years ago.

This isn't the first time CollegeHumor.com has influenced the rankings of something. Just a few months ago, "The site urged its readers to vote for what it deemed the most boring [new license plate] design available to Nebraska drivers. That gray-and-white plate won."

In Testament to the Power of the Internet

From the book Free Range Kids by Lenore Skenazy

"The media dubbed me 'America's Worst Mom.' (Go ahead — Google it.)"

I did Google "America's Worst Mom," and sure enough...

Curves Members Protest Opening of Men-Only Gym

In a scene ripped straight out of the 1960s, dozens of women converged to picket a newly opened men-only gym.

Engines is the newest gym to open in the Atlanta general metro area, and it's already garnered much criticism. Most of those to protest the exclusivity of the men-only gym are members of Curves, the nation's fastest growing work-out facility.

Signs wagging on the protesters' frontline include such messages as "Go back to the Fifties, Ward!" "Chauvinism is dead!" and "Exclusivity is bigotry."

The founder of Engines admits that he's quite confused as to why he's attracted so much negative attention. "I started this gym for pretty much the same reason that Curves was started," says Jim Halleran.

Mr. Halleran has the classic "tall, dark and handsome" features ladies are said to desire. He says that half the time he went to work out at his former co-ed gym, he was approached by women. Halleran, who has been happily married for nearly 20 years, explained that he doesn't wear his wedding ring while working out. "The absence of my wedding band seemed to signal to the ladies in the gym that I was open game. Even after I told them, some would continue to press me and tell me that they didn't mind that I was married."

In the locker room, Halleran would often speak with or overhear conversations that indicated a need for a men's only gym. "I'd hear some guy express his overwhelming sense of insecurity when working out in front of women. Other fellows would comment on how every time they brought out Sports Illustrated, Maxim, or some other male-oriented magazine, some woman would inevitably harass him about his macho reading choices."

Ultimately, Halleran wanted to create a gym where men can be men. This decision has been met with incredible resistance from the female populus in the area surrounding Engines.

One female protester said, "Gentlemen clubs were outlawed in the 80's and 90's for a good reason. Men used their exclusive clubs to oppress women and minorities. Their day has come and gone, and opening Engines is an attempt to return our society to that oppressive culture."

When presented with this statement, Halleran said, "I knew that I would catch heat for opening an all-male gym. I expected it. Although I have no plans on opening membership to women, we do not limit membership based on ethnicity. In fact less than 40% of our members are Anglo in their ancestry."

As one member of Engines was confronted by a protester, he declared his intention to apply to join Curves. The protester stood aghast and replied, "Why? So you can stare at my tits, you pig?"

Curves has yet to file any charges against Engines, but rumor has it that the corporation may sue Halleran on grounds of Trademark infringement. Halleran said he's prepared for a long and spendy trial, and he has contacted the ACLU for help with his case. The ACLU has yet to respond to Halleran's request.

Note: This is a satirical piece. None of this is real, but it is loosely based on similar incidents. I thought the "satire" tag would clue folks in. Alas, it did not so I am posting this small print to cover my butt in case a protest/boycott results from what I have written.

200 Gather to Play "Oye Como Va"

What: Second Annual Ashland Schools Combined Band Concert
Who: Ashland Middle School, Ashland High School, Southern Oregon University bands
When: 7:30 PM 12 February 2009
Where: SOU Music Hall

Over 200 musicians gathered to play a HUGE band version of Tito Puente's "Oye Como Va." Most of you probably know the Santana's version better, but there was something particularly magical about this performance.

During the concert, the Ashland Middle School, Ashland High School and Southern Oregon University bands took turns playing solo and with each other.

The Ashland Middle School band always impresses the audience. Here are a group of seventh and eighth grade kids who can effectively lull us with a rendition of "Wildflowers" then follow it up with a roaring "Phantom of Dark Hollow."

As the Ashland High School band joined AMS , the high school teacher conducted an ambitious piece of the fun off-tempo "Contraption." With less than 45 minutes of practice, they pulled off the piece nicely.

This reporter admits to a bias toward the AMS band, so I just brush past the technically correct, but not as thrilling SOU performance. Their rendetion of "From the Delta" started out sounding reminiscent of the 40's big band jazz, but eventually faded off into a more classical music sound by the "Spiritual" segment began.

The most thrilling part of the concert came as an encore. The program already broadcast the song choice as "Oye Como Va" to be performed by all three schools at once. As each band grouped up in various combinations throughout the concert, it was obvious that not all the musicians from all three schools were going to fit on the stage.

Suddenly, those of us in the less acoustic lower section of seating were treated to something truly special. All the trombones, French horns, and trumpets lined the center aisle behind us. As they blasted out the song from both front and back, the notes of wind, brass and percussion clashed and laced above our heads. It was a one-of-a-kind experience.

Three notes of trivia:

• The Ashland High School band teacher said that they were pretty sure "Oye Como Va" has never been performed by this big of a band before.
  
• Two fellows in there early 60's joined the bands, especially spiffed up in their tuxes. Both stood next to my 'bone playin' older son, and one told him that he was at the concert where Santana first performed "Oye Como Va."
• Somewhat related, the trombone player in Santana's "Smooth" (feat. Rob Thomas) is an Ashland High School graduate.

You can listen to the full song here.

Mother's Stops Making Cookies

Since 1914, pink and white frosted circus animal cookies have delighted the world. As of Monday, 13 October 2008, the world will lose these whimsical tasty treats. Citing steep increases in raw material costs, Mother's Cookies will cease production of their signature brand.

We miss you already, mama.

Talking about Osam... Oops, I mean, Obama

News groups continue to slash their staff writers and editors by the bushel. I can't help but wonder how often (if elected president) Barack Obama will be accidentally referenced as "Osama." Can you see the headlines already?

"President Osama Obama Approves Ax Tax Cuts for Poor"

AP Studies Youth News Consumption

Alan at "Reflections of a Newsosaur" shares the findings of a recent study conducted by the Associated Press. For those who might not know, the AP is the world's largest newsgroup. Most of the stories you read when you occasionally pick up a newspaper are pulled from the newsgroup's wire.

With newspapers facing massive subscription losses, AP wanted to find out if young people took in their news differently. The assessment was that "Jon Stewart is the archetype of next-generation journalism." Why? Because Jon has the ability to spin negative news into palatable news using humor. Check out Alan's story, and let him know what you think about the study's results.

I found this phrase most illustrative of the whole situation:

"the Polaroid-packing team"

Did you know that Polaroid is officially outdated? That's right, as of late last year, Polaroid no longer manufactures their patented film anywhere in the world. Polaroid cites the prevalence of digital camera technology as the main reason for plummeting sales. See any parallels between Polaroid and print media?

Here's a question for you:
Where do you get most of your news, and if you don't pay attention to the news, why not?

Killing The Tiger! Gen X Destroys News "Experts"

The following is an exercise in visual rhetoric...
Ironically, it is the newsprint publications that are reporting on their own demise. Subscriptions and advertising revenue continue to drop for nearly every major and minor newspaper and magazine. Speculation abounds in regards to reasons for the plummet of these scions of current events.

Most notably, disinterested young readers and those who turn to the internet for their news are cited as the main cause for the decline. Although, not untrue, these "causes" don't dive deep enough to hit at the heart of the "problem": Gen Xer's!

Let's take a bold step forward here, shall we?
Generation X is known for turning their backs on authority. In turn, they teach this to their children, who are now hitting high school and college. These students, whether they exhibit the trait or not, have learned not to take anything at face value. They learned that you must evaluate the source of the story. I may give Gen Y too much credit here, but you have to admit that they tend to eschew much of what Baby Boomers declare as proper.

Suits are a prime example of something that both Gen X and Gen Y have (mostly) refused to accept as signs of expertise. Just like with glasses, you can throw a suit on nearly anyone to create the appearance of intelligence. After all, don't the experts wear suits? Not anymore!

Compare the photos on the official SXSW site to the photos from The Week's Opinion Awards. Notice how the current experts are younger, and despite their still predominately male role call, they wear casual (not Casual Friday) clothing like raggedy t-shirts and sport messy doo's. If they do wear anything resembling a suit, it's jazzed up or the wearer tosses the tie and blazer.

Now, compare those photos to the Opinion Awards. Once again, predominately male but all Anglo in descent. Also all wearing suits and all over age 55. These are the supposed "experts," the ones with all the answers. This is where Gen X steps... time and time again, these established experts have misreported or served as nothing more than mouthpieces for corporations or world governments. They have repeatedly discredited themselves in the eyes of the people, and the Middle East debacle only furthers to destroy their credibility.

At first, the masses had chosen to label anyone who called out these "experts" as whack-a-doo's. Then, ironically as more news came out about the prevalent deception in news reporting in the same papers that initially reported the deceptions, more people became aware of how untrustworthy the news can be.

Now, we all know that sheeple (people who are nothing more than sheep following the flock) are still in plenty across the world. Yet, I think that most of those sheeple may just be groups of scared individuals. They don't want to believe that they are fed lies on a daily basis. They believe in the establishment and long for the days of McCarthy, whether they admit it or not.

Magazines like The Week hold the best cards in the deck, in that they don't take responsibility. They gather differing opinions then present them in a back-and-forth debate style in their weekly magazine. It's up to the reader to decide which side to take, or hopefully, to develop a completely new take on the issues they present. Yet, The Week hasn't figured out, based on their Opinion Awards, that suits don't build authority.

Imagine the day when most people openly laugh at those who choose to don their Armani before spewing their supposed authority.

More Mistakes Foodies Make

As a continuation of "Are Foodies Fascists?," MSN posted an article that slaps hardcore foodies in the face, not to mention all the mindless followers who like to declare: "But, it's organic!"

To read the article, click here.