27 September 2008

Sarah Palin Is a Valley Girl

If you're familiar with the expression "gag me with a spoon" and the culture that associated with it, you know what a "valley girl" is.

Back in the early eighties, the term was so popular that there was even a short-lived television series based on the culture.

Paris Hilton and her ilk might like to think that they created the super-materialistic, vacuous bimbo image, but they are mere echos to the rampant material girls who strove to imitate women living in the world-famous Los Angelic "Valley."

But, how does this make Sarah Palin a "valley girl," you might wonder?

In Southcentral Alaska, the small towns of Palmer and Wasilla are collectively referred to as "The Valley." Wasilla, as you recall, is the now infamous hometown of Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

Aside from being the meth capital of Alaska, Wasilla also boasts the second highest concentration of "hot" women (Girdwood, home of disgraced Republican Senator Ted Stevens, being the first). "If Lindsay Lohan lived in Alaska, she'd definitely live in Wasilla," said one University of Alaska, Anchorage, Freshman.

Add to all of that the fact that Sarah competed in the Miss Alaska beauty pageant, and you have a recipe for a bona fide "valley girl."

While investigating a tie between Ms. Palin and the possibility in her involvement in the valley girl movement of 1983, one anonymous classmate had this to report: "I've always remembered how in our senior year, Sarah said, 'Like, wouldn't it be sooo rad if I became the first woman president?' I used that line day for years. It never got old."

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