Decembrists to Receive Award for Most Pretentious Band of 2009

With their recent concept album "Hazards of Love" flying off virtual shelves, Portland-based band The Decemberists are quickly on their way to mainstream heights.

Many factors have spurred them onto such widespread acceptance, but the Society for True Talent has dealt a potentially devastating blow to the band. The STT recently released their list of nominations for various awards they give out at the end of June of each year. Topping the "Most Pretentious" list is none other than The Decemberists.

The Chairman for the STT says, "There a whole ton of reasons we nominated them for this award. Most namely is the way they try to craft their lyrics in ways that would really only appeal to Brit Lit college majors."

The title track to "Hazards of Love" contains perhaps the most notable example of how The Decemberists write these type of hyped up lyrics. Take this line for example:

The prettiest whistles won't wrestle, the thistles undone

"The whole idea of this maiden in green tromping through the woods seeking her true love is best left to Arthurian Legend," says an anonymous member of the nomination board.

Other reasons cited by the STT point more to their attitude than their musical ability. Here are some of the reasons submitted by nominee members:

• "Colin Meloy sings in that asynine pop-punk voice made popular back in the 1990s by Green Day. That pseudo-British accent just grates on me, and let's face it, British doesn't equal classier these days."
• "They're from Portland, Oregon, but their lyrics reflect an obvious pining to have come from Portland, Maine. Classic of bands who feel like the town that made them popular is a sh--hole."
• "They dress like a bunch of hipster doofuses."

To date, The Decembrists have received the most nominations for "Most Pretentious Band of 2009." That doesn't mean they have the award all tied up. There's still two months to go before the nomination period closes.